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Carlo's Table



Cappy Uncle Cappy got me hooked on pool.  I'll hate him forever.  Or love him.  I forget.
Daddy-O Genetically, I was doomed to be a pool player so it is not my problem.
Uncle Henry Never mess with a cowboy pool player who owns a whip.


First Las Vegas Our team's first visit to BCA Nationals.
Las Vegas Getting a team to Las Vegas takes luck and a cattle prod with new batteries.
Loot Dividing up Team Winnings takes two CPAs, a divining rod and a quart of Jack.
Double-Dipped The pain of being Double-Dipped in the finals of a tournament.
Perfect Team The blueprint for assembling the perfect pool team.
Signaling How to signal your teammate that his shot selection sucks.
EPPing When the other team's habits make you consider becoming a mass murderer.
Dusty Dusty, a teammate, was murdered.  I hope whoever did it burns in hell.
Manny A great teammate moves away because of work.
PourHouse A memorable double-hill game against the World's Best Pool Team.


Pros Man, I'd be a great Pro pool player!  If only I had the time, skill, patience, determination, lack of other marketable skills, and didn't mind hustling or sleeping in my car when things got tough.
Life The Six Stages of Life as an Pool Player will give you a complete understanding of the human predicament.
Haircut You can always tell a great pool player by their haircut.
Palsied Pete When bad health stalks your game most of us will just hang it up.
Stress What happens when the 8 falls on the break, and nobody notices?  Do I have to give up pool and move out of town?
Rotundo Raoul A very large pool player has a tough day.
Sweaty Hands No, I don't want to shake your hand, come to think of it.


Rules Next time I play, I'm bringing a lawyer.  Maybe two lawyers, in case one is a crook.
Gambling Psst.  Wanna gambull?  Ineedduh7.  Honest!  I've been sick.  100 a set?
50-Tips 50 tips for a better game of pool.  Carlo divulges a fortune in free advice.
Don't Worry Carlo cops an attitude on a pool table, even with a friend and teammate.
Slow Player Me? ....... I ....... don't ....... slow,  ....... it ....... only ....... seems ....... that ....... way.
Sharking Yourself Why wait for an opponent to shark you?  Get it over with by sharking yourself!
Big Pockets Having a tough time making a ball?  What you need are bigger pockets.


Balls Why are pool balls colored starting with yellow?  What if women picked the colors?
Junque Man, oh, man, is there a lot of junk being sold to pool players.  I think I have it all, too.
Cues One man's cue is another man's herd of cows.  Sure I heard of cows.  Moooo?
Tables Hey, moron, we are playing on the same table, so get over it and kwitcherbitchin.
Kling Johnnie Kling designed my  table after he retired from professional baseball.
Kling Project What does it take to refurbish a train-wreck of a pool table back to its former glory?
Chalk Green chalk or blue?  Blue chalk or green?  Red, mauve, gray, & puce make me puke.


Cursing Imagine hearing a curse word or two in a pool hall!  Is nothing sacred?
Quilting Wanna make some serious money?  Take up quilting, not pool.
Goats What the heck, lets go grab a goat and make a game out of it! 
Look Out! Carlo is not the lead sled dog when it comes to the Iditarod of Pool.
Experiments Take some pool players with too much time and money on their hands, add a fast camera, and everything will make sense.
TJ's Wonder Shot What happened?  How did that ????
Pool Hall Music Some music is waaaay out of line in a pool hall, I'm sorry, but that stuff is crap.
Little Otto Carlo has a fistfight at 40.  Carlo admits he is a complete moron.  But it was fun.
Combat The Pool Rules of Combat are not unlike words of wisdom for REAL combat, like with bullets.

Nobody paid me any money to put these links here, I just thought they deserved it.  Tell them Carlo sent you, maybe they'll buy me a beer.

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